This essay by its very nature couldn't possibly be an essay. I've studied this, researched it to the wee hours of the morning and my conclusion is always the same. It just doesn't work. An essay must tell the truth, it simply must be honest and show both sides of whatever it happens to be arguing. The problem here is that there is only one side on this argument. So by saying that this isn't an essay it would have to be lying for it to be one, therefore it is not one. Though if it is not one then it can lie and say that it isn't one, which makes it one.
Its a logic circle that you can never find a hole out of, so let's take a look at a few other things that makes an essay. I will draw my information from my English classes in high school and go from there. First an essay must sound smart. This is always what got me marks back in high school. Being confused does not sound smart; therefore this is not an essay. Next the essay must not have a single spelling error or grammatical mistake. I have intentionally made mistakes in this one and don't have any plans to fix them. Therefore not an essay. Lastly it must have an interesting topic to argue. As you can see, this one isn't interesting at all. This tells me that this is without a doubt not an essay.
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